It is not uncommon for adults with learning disabilities and attention deficits to feel that they are underachievers. For example, someone with learning disability might feel that she/he puts more time and effort into tasks that are seemingly easy to others. Or someone with ADD might notice that he/she does not get promoted on the job even though good education and skills are in place. Even if desired success is achieved, it is not easy to maintain it. Understandably, all of the above can be very discouraging and frustrating.
Group members shared their personal experiences of successes and struggles. They identified some of the factors that can contribute to turning their dreams into concrete accomplishments and creating a fulfilling life:
· Accurately estimating your current abilities, knowledge, and skills – ask others for feedback, if necessary! Remember that you can learn new skills at any point of your life! In addition, think about the ways you can transfer your existing expertise and skills in one field to a new endeavor.
· Setting up a concrete plan and establishing priorities – this can be very challenging for someone with LD/ADD/ADHD! As one group member put it, “gaps in thinking” can make it difficult to plan and follow through with plans. Ask for help, if necessary! If you feel stuck, go back to the drawing board.
· Maintaining interest and motivation – it can be done through engaging in activities that are related to the field of interest. Being around people who share your interests can be very inspiring!
· Using appropriate supports and resources – support comes in different shapes and forms, from the kind message “We like you and we care about you!” to concrete services and suggestions that you might need. Attending a support group like ours, asking for help from a family member, or receiving services from a professional (doctor, therapist, MRC counselor) are just some of the examples. Support can help you overcome your fear and confusion, build your self-esteem, deal with difficult emotions, and bounce back from set backs and major life losses.
· Keeping persevering – most group members shared that they had difficult life-changing experiences and major losses at certain points of their lives. Some members found that spirituality helped them persevere, while others benefited from using professional services and resources. It seems that the most important thing is not to give up and keep reaching out for what you need, even when you feel that you are stuck and nothing can ever change.
